Bernard Murstein
Bernard Murstein, like the other theorists, was conducting research with people in order to determine how they became couples. His observations led him to the belief that people did use filters, but that regulates the selection to one person or the other. He believed that there was a mutual selection happening. He also observed that the stages were distinct and did not interrelate as is the case with wheel theory. He made another discovery also. He found that not only do these stages relate to how people select a life partner, they relate to all relationships no matter what they are.
Stimulus-Value-Role Theory
Like the other theories, stimulus-value-role theory is a sequence of events that occur leading to a true relationship, in which the stimulus is the initial attractiveness of the individual. Then, values are determined followed by the roles each will plan in the relationship. A true relationship is one that is mutually beneficial in some respect. To form this type of relationship, the individuals follow a pattern.
Stimulus
This is the shallow stage in which the other person is evaluated based on physical attributes. A man or woman sees the other person as attractive, or a boss looks at an employee and believes they have the strength characteristics to do the job.
Value
Now the evaluation moves a little deeper. What attitudes does the other individual have toward values you feel are important? An exact mesh is not required, but values have to be close enough that the other individual passes this stage.
Role
The two have talked out what is important to them, not that they move on to how they can build a relationship together. The boss liked how you represented yourself and your core values. Now she talks to you about what you will be required to do to fulfill the relationship, and you will talk about what you believe the boss's job requires.
How Is the Sequence Used?
Most of the time, all theories regarding relationship building sequence are related to romantic relationships. However, they can be used in other ways also. People are in a large number of relationships, and everyone uses some form of evaluation before they enter into a pact.
For example, a friend invites you to his club meeting (or church, support group, etc.). You first look around at the general character of the people in the meeting and determine if this is a group of people who look good to you. Then you listen to what the group leader and the membership has to say, and you determine if their values match yours. The final step is learning what is required of you and if they meet the requirements you have set.
A track athlete looks at her potential coach to see if the coach looks like someone who could lead a track team. They start talking and the athlete determines if the values the coach espouses sound like they could lead to a successful partnership. After this stage they move onto telling each other what their expectations are.
A man sees a woman across the room, and she is very attractive. He talks with her and they make small talk which leads to a more serious discussion of shared values. The couple dates and either discusses roles or falls into the roles that they both subconsciously agree to. All relationships follow a sequence if they are to be mutually beneficial and successful.
Lesson Summary
Okay, let's take a moment to review what we've learned. There are several models that discuss the sequence of building a relationship. The filter theory and the wheel theory are two of these, with the filter theory suggesting that people use filters to weed out potential partners and choose the one with whom they're the most compatible, and the wheel theory being the process that goes from finding rapport to self-revelation to mutual dependency to intimacy need fulfillment.
However, as we learned, the stimulus-value-role theory stands out from these other two. The stimulus is the initial attractiveness of the individual, then values are determined followed by the roles each will play in the relationship. This type of model can be extrapolated to any type of relationship, not just dating or marital. It's simply describing a true relationship, which, as we learned, is one that is mutually beneficial in some respect.
